Why the World Needs Alien Tampon (and can we just start talking about periods already?)

Posted on Saturday, February 21, 2015 by



The trailer for Alien Tampon has been taking the horror community by storm. Men all over the internet are grossed out and angry, hailing many "WTF"s and comments like "proof that filmmakers have officially run out of ideas," "looks like porn without the good part," (what?) and "is this real? Seriously?" Not to mention, nearly every horror news site that's promoted it has made some kind of PMS joke.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, the three minute trailer for German horror film, Alien Tampon, is the actual film. It's a faux trailer for a film that hopes to receive funding from promotion of the short to become a feature length. The short was directed by first time filmmaker Jan Zenker, and written by Hanno von Contzen. According to the official website:
A UFO breaks through the earth's atmosphere and falls to the ground. A huge number of police officers and military units are actuated for eliminating the alien threat. A fierce battle against a superior power starts, through forests and cities. Aliens are shot, blood flows, people die.  

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Away from this global problem Jessica, Nicole, Marie and Denise together with Carmen attend college. The girls have been arguing repeatedly, which culminates in a broil. Carmen drops her handbag in the turmoil, the contents of which are scattered over the stained asphalt. A tampon lands in a puddle of alien blood. 
Carmen, humiliated once again, starts crying heavily and inserts the tampon, not noticing the green shimmer. The alien blood is contagious: she mutates and becomes a monster immediately, developing a vicious hunger for rioting, throwing plasma lightning and killing. Among the numerous victims is also Denise. 
A cop duo, Wolf and Becker, is sent to investigate into the mysterious murders. Meanwhile, a dodgy scientist, Professor Jackson, learns of Carmen's power and plans to use her for his own purposes while the homeless Bernd begins fighting his own battle against Carmen. 
Carmen's strength grows. She "recruits" a fellowship - by a tentacle that shoots out of her mouth and thus infects others with the alien virus. Amongst her army is also the extroverted nurse Rita. Marie, Nicole and Jessica, with the support of their friends Tom, Chris and Boris, and Jessica's grandfather, declare war on Carmen, Rita and their alien allegiance. The clique sets off and battle with a vengeance against the superior power – with the goal to kill Carmen. Here, the paths of her different hunters cross: Bernd joins Chris and Tom while Jackson competes with Wolf and Becker. And at the heart of the chaos - a bloodstained, fluorescent tampon. An alientampon.

There are obviously some flaws here. I feel like I should have known this was directed by men, with the ongoing period jokes, like "there's something in the bush," and "let's pull that string." As a woman, I have some serious questions, like who has loose tampons rolling around in their purse for future use? Who doesn't notice their tampon is full of green alien ooze before insertion? (That was probably wet, right?)

All "plug it up" jokes aside, there's something really important happening with Alien Tampon. Periods make people really uncomfortable. Women are constantly told not to talk about their periods. Female comedians are told that joking about their bodies is awkward and should be avoided. Many women are still embarrassed to buy tampons (which are still not free, by the way) or talk to their partners about their uterine lining (yeah, I went there.) Periods are taboo, and that's not okay. All in all, Alien Tampon isn't perfect, but it's a fun watch and opens a dialogue about periods. Although I wish it were coming from women, Zenker and von Contzen are the first I've seen to bring up menstruation in a horror film since Brian de Palma's 1976 adaptation of Carrie.

What do you think about Alien Tampon? Would you watch the feature length?

3 comments :

  1. I would love to see this as a feature length film! This article was very well written. I enjoyed it.

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  2. I would love to see this as a feature length film! This article was very well written. I enjoyed it.

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  3. Thanks for your never-ending support, Tom!

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